February 2012
10 posts
I will forever and always
be the one that got away.
“I felt a tremendous distance between me and everything real.”
– Hunter S. Thompson (via blaqmagic)
im giving you up for lent.
2 tags
I am not a delicate flower.
sure, I talk very little, I don’t say much, and fill pieces of myself with pretend hope - but i’m not naive. I know that there is life beyond the four walls of my heart. I know that. I know. I know that I am made up mostly of fear. and a little hope. and decisions i’ve made. and sure, maybe i wish i’d made a lot of them differently or whatever - but I made them, and i...
1 tag
there are holes in your story
There are some things that I repeat in my mind over and over. maybe hoping that if I do it enough times - the words will come to life. and I’ll be – how I was always supposed to be. Because maybe we got mixed up too far in our alternate universes. And never got our granted chance to be close enough to brush up against each other on some cold, lonely night. at least. so I’m here now. and there is...
1 tag
you are the blood flowing through my fingers
you are electricity
and you’re light.
you are sound, itself
and you’re flight.
“Go after her. Fuck, don’t sit there and wait for her to call, go after her...”
– Harvey Milk (via thatkindofwoman)
January 2012
20 posts
“I want a trouble-maker for a lover, Blood spiller, blood drinker, a heart of...”
– Rumi (via blaqmagic)
eat your meat, keep your teeth.
You wanna get boned,
You wanna get stoned,
You wanna get a room like no-one else.
You wanna be rich,
You wanna be kitsch,
You wanna be the bastard of yourself.
You wanna get burned,
You wanna get turned,
You wanna get fucked inside out.
You wanna be ruled,
You wanna be fooled,
You wanna be a woman like a man, Like a woman like a man.
“Reality continues to ruin my life.”
– Bill Watterson
The thing about sleep is
The thing about me is my thing with sleep. so few and far between - but when it happens, it’s dangerous. Because I’d prefer to never wake. The thing about sleep is the thing about reality and I get those two mixed up. Because the thing about me is my thing about my head and my heart and where I truly belong. lost in the better parts of my dreams The thing about what goes on between...
half my time is spent wondering.
and the other half is spent wandering.
I'm going to die alone.
This is not a sad post.
2 tags
it's 15 degrees outside.
The familiarity of my coffee mug and the 7 AM bright lights of my monitor give me this sinking and warming feeling at the same time. Either way, it’s a feeling that I have often and know all too well. And all I’m hoping for is that maybe, finally, today - the time on the clock will speed up. And I mean actually speed up. Just this once. because I’ve spent countless entries on...
“I said goodbye again, sucking up all that was left of her into the little that...”
– Charles Bukowski (via beautyisanillusion)
the sweetest thing anyone's ever said to me.
“I have an affinity for you and its starting to gross me out a little.”
1 tag
Step into this with your airplane parts.
I no longer need you to fuck me as hard as I hated myself. Make love to me like you know I’m better than the worst thing I ever did. Go slow.
“I like it when somebody gets excited about something. It’s nice.”
– The Catcher In The Rye, J.D. Salinger (via flower-nymph)
1 tag
not everything floats.
You look at me like my eyes are transparent and you’re peering deep into nothing. you tell me not to be so tough all the time and to let go of all that power. but you should know that i’ve got all the power vested in me so deep inside its like i’m under water in the middle of the ocean and i can’t remember which way is up and which way is down. so i just keep swimming with my eyes closed - or...
3 tags
i guess thats just the way it works
I’m finding that my life is so full of unknowns - more often than not. Like I’ve got all these possibilities and maybe’s - but I can’t figure out why I wont let myself go any further than that. like i just want to only live in the beginnings. See, there are two parts of me: The one that wants to love forever. and the one that lives in reality. You know, I know that no...
2 tags
my heart = 1 fist
my lungs = 2 fists
December 2011
30 posts
1 tag
why is it
why is it that things make completely perfect sense to me when i’m drunk. but seem absolutely ridiculous any other time in my life?
1 tag
and love, it taught me to lie.
so c’mon courage, teach me to be shy.
when i was 15
during my church class, i wrote on one of the pages in my bible;
“i smoke weed, I drink wine.” [it was a really weird time in my life.]
is there any place that delivers mashed potatoes...
i need to know.
happy fuckin chrsitmas you assholes
yeah, im’m still drunk.
more trouble than its worth.
[someone in your life all of the time?]
i wish someone was writing about me, the way i...
somewhere, someone is still writing down all the words i need to hear. lets meet up sometime.
you can't judge a person by their tumblr. or vice...
whatever.
[is it what goes around, comes around? or WHO goes around comes around? because these days, i’m really not sure.]
when i’m rich, if i’m ever rich, all i’m going to do all day is tell everyone to fuck off. god, that would be so nice.
when i was spun out eyes bagged teeth fist first...
my heart is in a million pieces. in a million places. i wish that i had it all together. all good and great and perfectly straight. but i don’t. i. so. don’t. so here i am: this wreck of a mess of a lady. terrified of the uncertainties in my future. hiding behind pretty words and stolen glances. and i hear things like “just love” like it’s easy. like i want to be...
“Someday, we’ll run into each other again, I know it. Maybe I’ll be older and...”
– Memoirs of an Amnesiac by Gabrielle Zevin (via blaqmagic)
divorce papers fallin the fuck out my briefcase.
i married a ghost.
my bones are shifting in my skin
and you, my love, are gone.
“You build your world around someone, and then what happens when he disappears?...”
– Alice Hoffman (via blaqmagic)